Funny Rude Valentine's Day Card – Adult Humor, Spicy Love

from $6.35
Not all Valentine’s cards are sweet. Some are brutally honest, wildly funny, and meant for couples who don’t take romance too seriously.

This bold, sarcastic Valentine’s Day card delivers unapologetic adult humor with a clean, minimalist design. Perfect for partners who laugh first, flirt hard, and hate cliché love cards.

Whether you’re anti-Valentine’s, sarcastically romantic, or just enjoy pushing the envelope, this card gets the message across—loud and clear.

💌 Great for:

Couples with a dark or dirty sense of humor

Anti-Valentine’s Day gifts

Long-term relationships that thrive on sarcasm

Anyone who says “we don’t do mushy”

Custom Printed Message Instructions:
Alright, genius, if you've picked a card with a custom message (because you're obviously too cool for our pre-made ones), slap that message in the notes section before you bail to checkout. And hey, check your spelling, will ya? We're printing it as-is, typos, and all - because we believe in your unique brand of chaos.

Materials:

Card Material: This isn't your grandma's cardstock. It's Premium White, Thick, A6 size - because we're fancy like that.
Printing: Done with a high-quality printer, not a potato.
Envelope Included: Yep, it fits the card. A6-sized, for those who care.
Cellophane Sleeve: Each card is entombed in plastic, like a prized action figure. Shipped in a rigid envelope, because we don't do bent cards.

Shipping:
We move at the speed of a sloth on vacation. Orders go out in 1-3 business days.
Shipping options via USPS, because we're basic:
USPS Ground Advantage (cheap, no tracking)


Return and Refund Policy:
Customized cards? No backsies. Once you hit that purchase button, it's out of your hands and into the void.
Non-customized cards: Got regrets? You've got 14 days from when it lands on your doorstep. Return it like it never happened, original packaging and all.
Got a Problem?

Tough cookies. But fine, email us. We'll see what we can do.

Thanks for choosing us, you brave soul.

Copyright Disclaimer:

Just so we're clear: you're paying for our time and mad skills, not for the fancy characters on the card. We don't own them; we just play with them. No endorsements, no licenses, just pure, unadulterated fan love.

Language Reminder:

English, please. It's the only language we speak without accidentally cursing.
With personalized message inside card?:
Not all Valentine’s cards are sweet. Some are brutally honest, wildly funny, and meant for couples who don’t take romance too seriously.

This bold, sarcastic Valentine’s Day card delivers unapologetic adult humor with a clean, minimalist design. Perfect for partners who laugh first, flirt hard, and hate cliché love cards.

Whether you’re anti-Valentine’s, sarcastically romantic, or just enjoy pushing the envelope, this card gets the message across—loud and clear.

💌 Great for:

Couples with a dark or dirty sense of humor

Anti-Valentine’s Day gifts

Long-term relationships that thrive on sarcasm

Anyone who says “we don’t do mushy”

Custom Printed Message Instructions:
Alright, genius, if you've picked a card with a custom message (because you're obviously too cool for our pre-made ones), slap that message in the notes section before you bail to checkout. And hey, check your spelling, will ya? We're printing it as-is, typos, and all - because we believe in your unique brand of chaos.

Materials:

Card Material: This isn't your grandma's cardstock. It's Premium White, Thick, A6 size - because we're fancy like that.
Printing: Done with a high-quality printer, not a potato.
Envelope Included: Yep, it fits the card. A6-sized, for those who care.
Cellophane Sleeve: Each card is entombed in plastic, like a prized action figure. Shipped in a rigid envelope, because we don't do bent cards.

Shipping:
We move at the speed of a sloth on vacation. Orders go out in 1-3 business days.
Shipping options via USPS, because we're basic:
USPS Ground Advantage (cheap, no tracking)


Return and Refund Policy:
Customized cards? No backsies. Once you hit that purchase button, it's out of your hands and into the void.
Non-customized cards: Got regrets? You've got 14 days from when it lands on your doorstep. Return it like it never happened, original packaging and all.
Got a Problem?

Tough cookies. But fine, email us. We'll see what we can do.

Thanks for choosing us, you brave soul.

Copyright Disclaimer:

Just so we're clear: you're paying for our time and mad skills, not for the fancy characters on the card. We don't own them; we just play with them. No endorsements, no licenses, just pure, unadulterated fan love.

Language Reminder:

English, please. It's the only language we speak without accidentally cursing.